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Submitted on
July 23, 2011
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The hole is open. The story begins.

The sky is dark over the Everfree forest. There are stars that shine in the air, but they do not glitter. They seem painted on, mainly for show. They seem slightly wrong. Even the moon, caught between half and crescent as it wanes in time and fades away, seems strangely artificial, with a shape too bulky, and craters too big.

The Everfree forest seems natural enough, darkened to near blackness as it is, but it is strangely without sound. There is wind, as it blows at Force Three or Four, tugging at every branch and leaf, whistling as they undulate in the breeze. But the animals are absent. Nature seems silenced. As if all that grew, moved, thought and ate were at some secret place of worship. Or if they had fled from some great, powerful force of destruction.

A few leaves individually flit between the trees. Was that a rabbit, darting behind the tree? The grass bends and sways.

Then comes the step. Water parts and leaps, in the wake of the step. The step with nothing preceding it. The step of a foot totally alien, in almost every way. Then as the second step comes, muffled by the parting mud, the frog that sat in silence leaps away. The wind picks up, howling and whirling in a wide, wide circle, as if it too was trying to flee from this strange being whose every motion was wrong.

The presence moves into a ray of light, which illuminates its chest. It raises a limb, topped with a thing so like but unlike a claw, to adjust the length that circles its neck. The presence looks about, slowly, analysing every detail. The presence hears the rush of the wind, but also a slower, rhythmic passage of air, one it alone can hear. The thought might have gratified it, if it could feel so, but for the single determination filling its mind.

The presence allows the light to dance upon it a moment longer. Then proceeds to move. A red eyed rodent darts, as if free to move from some terrible entrapment. Other eyes watch from an absent wall, as the presence moves past and fear chains them in place. Where does it go? Where does it come from? Why does it pass this way and will it find what it seeks? None of these questions leave an impression. Least of all on the presence. It is there, and it moves. All else is lost to the world.

At long last, a speck of light breaches the trees. Not the pure white light of the stars and moon, but a warmer yellowed light like the imitation of a dawn. The vines and branches part before the presence. It beholds a sprawling cluster of houses, near and far. Dominions. Havens. Fortresses all. The warm light glows from a few, but many are nestled in the cool shadows of night.

The presence sees all, flexes itself, and prepares to begin its dark work.
So, my first deviation, and it's a MLP:FIM crossover. Who'd have guessed?

This marks the (probable) beginning of my first FIM crossover, and my first Slenderman crossover. I only thought of this today, or rather, I only just grouped together my different ideas today, and the current plan in my head is something of a schizophrenic mess. But hopefully, by the end it should all come together and work. And, with any luck, I won't be the first person in the world to create an unpopular Friendship is Magic Fanfic!
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:icongreyroseofhope:
GreyRoseOfHope Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Twilight Sparkle doesn't stand a chance.
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:iconanzul:
anzul Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011  Student General Artist
su much thanks for doing this!!!
dude, i be never have so much chills in my life!!!
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:iconstressed2dalimit:
stressed2dalimit Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011
You've made some mistakes on slenderman's pony character. For one, Slenderman is absolutely silent, and never makes any sound.
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:iconsolaris90:
Solaris90 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Interesting beginning. I've read the other MLP/Slendermane fics out there, so naturally I'll read this one. I just hope this one has a happier ending than the others did...
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:iconsgtnolisten:
SgtNolisten Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011
I want to hit you so bad. I've seen this posted on equestria daily a few weeks ago, came acrossed it again a few hours ago, looked up what "Slender man" is, and now I'm not going to get any sleep tonight because I want to keep an eye on the six possible enterances into my room if he doesn't mind... nearly pissed myself there, air conditioner turned on... if he doesn't mind breaking through windows... if they're even a barrier to him... I'm terrified alright!
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:iconinumaru12:
Inumaru12 Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
OHMYGAWD, WHY AM I READING THIS AT 2 IN THE MORNING?!?! Guess I'm not getting sleep tonight.

Anyway, good start. :3
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:iconseriouslystupid:
SeriouslyStupid Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LOL SLENDERMANE

YOU HAVE CURED MY SLENDERPHOBIA

... for now
Reply
:iconaustralanima:
AustralAnima Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2011
Slendermane, ha ha, that sure is a good pun.
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:iconkuroitsubasatenshi:
KuroiTsubasaTenshi Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Questions in the narrative are typically no-nos because they really don't tell the reader anything. I recommend trying to find a way to evoke those questions via your description instead of explicitly writing them out.

Aside from that, your sentence flow is a little uneven at times, but that could easily be fixed during editing. You do manage to get plenty of description in without hurting the pacing, which is always a plus.

"Other eyes watched from an absent wall, as the presence moves past and fear chains them in place." There's a bit of slippage into past tense there.
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:iconodd-ranger:
Odd-Ranger Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2011
Thank you very much! Not sure how I missed that little bit. I'll see what I can do about the questioning.
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